There will come a point in our lives in which we have to avoid something. Evasion is not an act of cowardice, it is a form of protecting oneself. A protection in which we can save ourselves from the negativities of these forces that surround us.
And often times, what we have to evade are people.
People who's got the extreme hots for us. It may be because of our aura, our sex appeal, our extreme looks and probably just because we are damn gorgeous. It may be these type of people or just some kind of pesky neighbor trying to sell you something.
And we just can't entertain them anymore because we are in a current relationship, or we just simply don't like to see the person because of how they dress, how they act, how they smell, and how they treat us. For any reason at all, we just have to evade these people.
My friends, let me give you some tips on how we could successfully(?) avoid certain people that are after us.
DISCLAIMER: These steps have not been tested in any way. I shall not be held responsible for any fatal results whatsoever.
Possible Evasion Tactics by Tannix
1. IF THE PEOPLE YOU ARE AVOIDING TOLD YOU THAT THEY ARE GOING TO YOUR PLACE, IMMEDIATELY INFORM THEM THAT YOU HAVE AN LEAVING FOR SOMEWHERE RIGHT AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT THEY ARE TO ARRIVE.
It is important that you have to let these people believe that your destination is believable and it really exists. Choose a place like Disneyland, Mars or Jupiter. Tell them that you want to meet aliens and that you want to personally measure how big is Jupiter. You can also tell them that you're attending the funeral of the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin. Or you just have to be somewhere you weren't suppose to be just because they are coming.
Tell this to the people being avoided every time they are visiting so that surprise visits are to be eluded.
2. DON'T BATHE FOR FIVE... wait... make it SEVEN DAYS UP TO A MONTH. ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN JUST WIPE YOUR ARMPITS BUT DON'T PUT DEODORANTS
Your nasty smell shall serve as the "insect repellant" for the annoying people you are trying to avoid. You can also jog inside your cabinet for easy perspiration. You must do this before the person arrives and be sure to give them a hug whenever they arrive.
If you cannot deem to not take a bath or go with the wiping thing, you could proceed with cleaning your nails regularly and not letting them grow.
Hey, you may smell like hell, but at least you've got pretty clean fingernails!
3. PRETEND THAT SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A DEATH THREAT AND YOU ARE IN DANGER AT ALL TIMES.
Certain proof of a death threat must be established. You must make the person believe that any person that has a connection with you which is a man/woman/gay/lesbian, has an age within the range of 1-100 years old, within the vicinity of your area or is in the Philippines, has the starting letter of their name included in the English alphabet, is 100 percent and positively sure that their lives are in danger. Also indicate to the person that surprisingly, all the members of your clan are not included in this death threat.
4. YOU COULD TRY TO GET THESE FOLLOWING ANIMALS AS PETS: RATS, COCKROACH, BEDBUGS, FLEAS, MOSQUITOES, SNAKE, BEES, ALLIGATORS, FROGS, FLIES, CENTIPEDES, LIONS, TIGERS, BEARS, ASWANGS, TIKBALANGS, KAPRE, JELLYFISHES AND OTHER ADORABLE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT.
Be sure to display them in your house[in a bragging manner] whenever you are visited by the person being avoided.
It is advisable for you to treat your pest..er...pests as part of your family. Give them enough love and devotion that you would give a "normal" pet. Be sure to show affection to the pet by kissing them in front of the person and feeding them regularly.
NOTICE:
A. As advised by Bob Ong - Do not place the frogs and snakes, frogs and mosquitoes and/or flies and/ or bees and/or bedbugs, snakes and rats, in a single cage unless you want your house to become a food chain chart.
B. Be advised to feed the pets 3 times a day or based on their dietary allowances.
C. Keep out the Aswangs out of sunlight. They will surely die at the morning [given by popular belief]. Provide sunblocks if necessary.
D. Be sure to have an ample supple of "grass" for the Kapres. Keep an ample supply for the Tikbalangs as well because aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo.
E. Provide labels for the cages. It is most likely that the jellyfishes will end up as pulutan for the drunk family member, being mistaken it for a squid.
F. If the said animal is unavailable for purchase due to some DENR issues, you may replace it with a "replacement" such as a picture of Madam Auring or Diego of Bubble Gang.
*DISCLAIMER*
This particular step will not be held liable for the damages that it will surely bring to you, to your pets [or pests], or to the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin.
If ever your house burns, you die, or your whole clan is exterminated, I won't be held liable. I just gave these things as a guide. If such things happen, I don't exist anymore.
NOTE: I am usually used to the pets mentioned above.
5. ALWAYS TAKE A NAP OR GO TO SLEEP WHENEVER THE AVOIDED PERSON IS AT YOUR HOUSE.
It's best of you would induce narcolepsy or take some sort of downers or munch on sleeping pills like peanuts. It is also advised to use camping gears such as tents and bonfires right in front of the person you are avoiding. Be sure to sleep in the place where the person is positioned.
6. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, PROVIDE TANNIX WITH CONTACT DETAILS OF THE PERSON BEING AVOIDED.
This particular step is only applicable if the person being avoided is a woman, between 18 to 23 years of age, single, sexy, cute, beautiful, gorgeous, kind, cheerful, a good cook, sings very well, understanding, patient, thoughtful, sweet, and pretty, has no criminal and/or psychotic behavior and/or records, and/or psychological issues, has a loving parents, and has no bad habits. Oh, and with hot and oozing sex appeal that's also a freak in the sheets.
Please give the details of the woman to tannixkinse@yahoo.com, or to friendster.com/tannix, and to this blog.
And these are said tips that are to be followed for avoiding people, may it be a stalker, an in-law, bill collector or someone asking a favor, I'm sure this will surely help.
Thank you and goodluck to the evasion.
And often times, what we have to evade are people.
People who's got the extreme hots for us. It may be because of our aura, our sex appeal, our extreme looks and probably just because we are damn gorgeous. It may be these type of people or just some kind of pesky neighbor trying to sell you something.
And we just can't entertain them anymore because we are in a current relationship, or we just simply don't like to see the person because of how they dress, how they act, how they smell, and how they treat us. For any reason at all, we just have to evade these people.
My friends, let me give you some tips on how we could successfully(?) avoid certain people that are after us.
DISCLAIMER: These steps have not been tested in any way. I shall not be held responsible for any fatal results whatsoever.
Possible Evasion Tactics by Tannix
1. IF THE PEOPLE YOU ARE AVOIDING TOLD YOU THAT THEY ARE GOING TO YOUR PLACE, IMMEDIATELY INFORM THEM THAT YOU HAVE AN LEAVING FOR SOMEWHERE RIGHT AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT THEY ARE TO ARRIVE.
It is important that you have to let these people believe that your destination is believable and it really exists. Choose a place like Disneyland, Mars or Jupiter. Tell them that you want to meet aliens and that you want to personally measure how big is Jupiter. You can also tell them that you're attending the funeral of the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin. Or you just have to be somewhere you weren't suppose to be just because they are coming.
Tell this to the people being avoided every time they are visiting so that surprise visits are to be eluded.
2. DON'T BATHE FOR FIVE... wait... make it SEVEN DAYS UP TO A MONTH. ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN JUST WIPE YOUR ARMPITS BUT DON'T PUT DEODORANTS
Your nasty smell shall serve as the "insect repellant" for the annoying people you are trying to avoid. You can also jog inside your cabinet for easy perspiration. You must do this before the person arrives and be sure to give them a hug whenever they arrive.
If you cannot deem to not take a bath or go with the wiping thing, you could proceed with cleaning your nails regularly and not letting them grow.
Hey, you may smell like hell, but at least you've got pretty clean fingernails!
3. PRETEND THAT SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A DEATH THREAT AND YOU ARE IN DANGER AT ALL TIMES.
Certain proof of a death threat must be established. You must make the person believe that any person that has a connection with you which is a man/woman/gay/lesbian, has an age within the range of 1-100 years old, within the vicinity of your area or is in the Philippines, has the starting letter of their name included in the English alphabet, is 100 percent and positively sure that their lives are in danger. Also indicate to the person that surprisingly, all the members of your clan are not included in this death threat.
4. YOU COULD TRY TO GET THESE FOLLOWING ANIMALS AS PETS: RATS, COCKROACH, BEDBUGS, FLEAS, MOSQUITOES, SNAKE, BEES, ALLIGATORS, FROGS, FLIES, CENTIPEDES, LIONS, TIGERS, BEARS, ASWANGS, TIKBALANGS, KAPRE, JELLYFISHES AND OTHER ADORABLE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT.
Be sure to display them in your house[in a bragging manner] whenever you are visited by the person being avoided.
It is advisable for you to treat your pest..er...pests as part of your family. Give them enough love and devotion that you would give a "normal" pet. Be sure to show affection to the pet by kissing them in front of the person and feeding them regularly.
NOTICE:
A. As advised by Bob Ong - Do not place the frogs and snakes, frogs and mosquitoes and/or flies and/ or bees and/or bedbugs, snakes and rats, in a single cage unless you want your house to become a food chain chart.
B. Be advised to feed the pets 3 times a day or based on their dietary allowances.
C. Keep out the Aswangs out of sunlight. They will surely die at the morning [given by popular belief]. Provide sunblocks if necessary.
D. Be sure to have an ample supple of "grass" for the Kapres. Keep an ample supply for the Tikbalangs as well because aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo.
E. Provide labels for the cages. It is most likely that the jellyfishes will end up as pulutan for the drunk family member, being mistaken it for a squid.
F. If the said animal is unavailable for purchase due to some DENR issues, you may replace it with a "replacement" such as a picture of Madam Auring or Diego of Bubble Gang.
*DISCLAIMER*
This particular step will not be held liable for the damages that it will surely bring to you, to your pets [or pests], or to the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin.
If ever your house burns, you die, or your whole clan is exterminated, I won't be held liable. I just gave these things as a guide. If such things happen, I don't exist anymore.
NOTE: I am usually used to the pets mentioned above.
5. ALWAYS TAKE A NAP OR GO TO SLEEP WHENEVER THE AVOIDED PERSON IS AT YOUR HOUSE.
It's best of you would induce narcolepsy or take some sort of downers or munch on sleeping pills like peanuts. It is also advised to use camping gears such as tents and bonfires right in front of the person you are avoiding. Be sure to sleep in the place where the person is positioned.
6. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, PROVIDE TANNIX WITH CONTACT DETAILS OF THE PERSON BEING AVOIDED.
This particular step is only applicable if the person being avoided is a woman, between 18 to 23 years of age, single, sexy, cute, beautiful, gorgeous, kind, cheerful, a good cook, sings very well, understanding, patient, thoughtful, sweet, and pretty, has no criminal and/or psychotic behavior and/or records, and/or psychological issues, has a loving parents, and has no bad habits. Oh, and with hot and oozing sex appeal that's also a freak in the sheets.
Please give the details of the woman to tannixkinse@yahoo.com, or to friendster.com/tannix, and to this blog.
And these are said tips that are to be followed for avoiding people, may it be a stalker, an in-law, bill collector or someone asking a favor, I'm sure this will surely help.
Thank you and goodluck to the evasion.
1 comment:
blog hopin', very neat and I enjoyed my visit . Come and see me sometimes. TC
Post a Comment