I Hate You

HATE is such a strong word.

You hear it and a lot of things come rushing into your mind.

HATE may politically signify war and revolt. The word HATE may pertain to something that is unjust and is truly abhorred. This hate may be signified by the hate of a countryman to the current rules and state of his country, and how things are being planned by those who are in power. And as the hate "matures", the countryman will try to get rid of what he hates. It is therefore natural that the countryman will have its voice heard through protests, revolts and application of necessary measures upon that hate-able thing.

It probably goes for anyone that hates something or someone. No matter how deep or how shallow the hate is, they try to get rid of it. In turn, they get dirty on stuff and think of any possible way to get around and get rid of that hate.

I do hate a lot of stuff in my life.

Let's take PIMPLES as one of them.

You don’t want them anywhere in your skin, and yet they seem to be so comfortable with growing on every crevice of your face.

And with the hate of pimple, comes the hate for people with smooth skin. You think of every possible reason why you can't have godlike skin similar to what they have. Skin that radiates and somehow glows.

The skin that's just "almost perfect".

Smooth-skinned people, especially males, are those people who are MOST PROBABLY on the homosexual side of ah... sexuality. It is quite peculiar that a guy has smooth, white, glowing, and much smoother skin than mine. Well, actually it's normal but if it's too smooth, too white, and there's too much glow, the guy is probably gay. The level of gayness depends on the thickness of vanity stuff such as make-up and all that beautification paraphernalia.

Therefore, if I hate pimple, I certainly hate vain and low class faggots who can’t seem to have enough respect for their own selves and continue to pursue a life of having a chemically-induced smooth skin.

HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE

One of the most annoying things that I have come to hate are certain radio stations. And I can’t do anything about them since they are what’s common on FXs, buses, and jeepneys. I can’t blame these stations for having that kind of theme since the masses and our noble PUV drivers are their primary target. That’s why they usually greet those people on PUVs, especially the drivers.

I hate how they run their show. I tell you, it’s this fucking animated laughter every single pause of what the DJ has to say. It could be the squirrel laugh, or the monkey laugh, or whatever kind of laughter that they can plug into almost each and every ending of a statement.

And the DJs are at it too. Oh man, they are so fucking hateful for me. As in they really have to force their lungs just to pull out that ratatatat laughter after every three words or so. It’s just so dreadful. And almost every station has to have this joke portion of some sort with chipmunk voices and Visayan accent for others. And the talk shows in the morning also offers the same annoyance they bring in with the other bunch of annoying stuff. It just keeps on coming. It is just a trend for these type of radio stations. If one station has this kind of gimmick, then you won’t let your station be out of the light. So you put in what the crowd likes (which are probably the chipmunk voices telling jokes which may be from the number of circulating jokes on cellphones.) and compete from that point on. The smaller the voice, the better. The more abundant the laughs are, the better. The longer the DJs can hold their breath for laughing, the better. The older the music that they play, the better. The more frequent they play the old song, the better.

What a brilliant way to run a successful radio station.

And of course the music never changes. It is oldies almost all day long. It’s everyday Barry Manilow or Rod Stewart or some other singer from that era. Well, those classicals aren’t really that bad. It’s just that they are overplayed. I’m pretty sure that if they’ve got a CD for those tracks, it’s probably wrecked the first week that it is used.

HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE

Pero syempre, there will come a time that you have to become what you’ve hated.

Well in my case, I’ve come to like what I hate.

At di ko alam kung bakit ngayon eh natutuwa na ako sa pakikinig sa mga ganitong klase ng radio stations.

I guess my desire to ignore them every time I hear them just gave off. You got tired of rejecting what you hate, and just give in.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. If you can’t ignore them, try and listen.

And that’s what I did. After some time of condemning these radio station and that I can’t really do anything to not listen to them (since I don’t have an MP3 player and I can’t ask the driver to change the station), I’ll just have to try and listen.

Behind these intense machine-generated series of laughter, there are some good and funny jokes that they give out from time to time. Aside from the annoying laughter of the DJs and the meek and puny way they deliver the jokes, there is some point in the show that you’ll just laugh because a joke is REALLY funny. And sometimes you’ll just agree to what the dumb-sounding DJ says because it is correct, even if the topics are purely senseless and mostly sexually-oriented topics.

Nakakainis mang sabihin eh natutuwa na din akong makinig ng palabas ng Love Radio at ng Energy FM. Saka maganda naman si Nicole-hiyala. Medyo tagilid lang si Chris Tsuper pero ayos na din. Natutunan ko nang indahin ang mga nakakairita nilang mga tawa na talaga naming hinugot pa sa large intestine para lang mapwersa ang pagtawa.

Yun pinsan ko nga eh di naman nakikinig ng ganung station dati, pero ngayon eh yun na ang default station ng radio niya.

Nakakainis yun. I hate that kind of station. Pero masaya kasi ang kulit ng mga DJs kahit sobrang ang sarap sampalin ng lalamunan nila sa sobrang kakornihan.

Ah, hayaan mo na. Bibili na lang ako ng MP3 player at yun ang gagamitin ko sa byahe.

HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE HATEHATEHATE

I hate myself, but not because of my smooth skin. And as time goes on, I’ve become what I’ve hated, so in turn, I became myself, which is what I hate and what I don’t like. So apparently, there’s no end to this self-hating cycle.

New Generation

This the new generation

The new generation of street food.

Yes, it is all I want to talk about here. Street food. A sequel to my entry: Take It To The Street.

I was enjoying much of these "street treasures" and it has come to my attention that there are these new addition to the already large variety of available street food. There are just much to choose from.



Prior to what I've written before, I want to discuss the new addition of items to the street menu. It is no doubt that these food are quite exquisite to me, even though they have been wrapped in mystery and 100% questionable sanitation. I don't really care that much if I do gain diarrhea from them.

Masarap ang bawal. Bawal magkasakit.
Therefore, masarap magkasakit.

And it is great to feast upon disease-causing food.

Definitely, I would trade over these food for Caviar and all other French food that have names that takes quite a stress for the tongue to pronounce

And these are the NEW GENERATION of street food that I've recently "experienced".


Siomai - I love these little bastards. Especially the once sold by ate near the OWWA building in Intramuros. Her cart is isolated from others and is far from the chain of vendors in front of the PC shops. Even so, I would gladly take an extra 50 steps or more from where I buy toknene just to grab her siomai.

I want to siomai love for her siomai. Nyek.

Ah basta. Her siomai (the one that she sells) tastes entirely different from those sold by others.

At masarap din ang fried siomai ni ate (the one that she sells, which is a FOOD). Not unlike those from Kinse Meal siomais. Her's are just tender and well-cooked. The essence of the meat is greatly defined through careful mixture of seasonings and mixes well with either the sweet and sour sauce or the soy sauce.

*flashback music plays*

I can still remember it. We were so fond of eating at the Kinse Meals.

NOTE: Kinse meals are those meals which consists of 1 order of siomai (4 pieces, P2.50 each) and a cup of rice (P5.00 per cup). Me and my friends greatly patronize the Kinse Meal since it fits well with our budget after spending it all on DotA and we can still purchase a bottle of Pop and they also serve free soup for it. With also the addition of unlimited fried garlic that is so much bitter because of its repeated frying (which you can also witness being done at the side walk near the stores).

We just stopped eating it due to the rumor that a friend of a friend once saw a carcass of a BANGAW floating on the soup. At first, I was in denial since I adore and worship the meal itself. The meal that provides us enough energy to go home after a DotA game.

I denied the chismax to myself. I still ate there a couple of times, with the declination of a sabaw offer from the "store manager". I just stopped eating because I got to experience, first-hand, the anomaly that was surrounding the Kinse Meals. I ordered a Kinse Meal and I ate the uncooked meat that was its content. Ate#2 fried it directly into hot oil (without steaming it first like what the professional Ate#1 would do). I truly had second thoughts that time, if I am to eat that piece of uncooked siomai that only went through a 8 (or about 10)-second dip on boiling oil. The meat is so pinkish and I was truly convinced that it was uncooked.

That was when I decided to stop eating that stuff at that place.

*flashback music stops*

And that it why now I only patronize Ate#1's Scrumptious fried siomais. You can be sure that it's steamed before it was friend and that the meat is jam-packed, compared to that of the Kinse Meal which has the meat na kasing-dami lang ng kuko ng manok. Parang seasoning lang ang amount.


Siomai is definitely one of the delicious street food that I've eaten lately. Now, I only eat at Ate#1's store since it's guaranteed good and cooked. All the other stalls can't imitate the formula.

Back in the old days, you can only get good siomai in various Chinese restaurants such as Wan Chai and Hap Chan in Binondo. But as of now, there's this affordable and good tasting siomai sold at carts. And it tastes even better with ate's special sauce that looks like a Carabao's phlegm.

Chicken Skin - This one's good too. I used to see a lot of carts around that selling this kind of commodity. I'm not fond of buying this stuff very often since I might obtain some skin allergies (may allergy pang nalalaman eh buni, an-an, at hadhad lang naman yun! Sus!).

Dustin tried it out one time and I tasted one and I was really surprised that it was good and cheap too (at about P10.00 a pack, with about 3-5 pieces per pack). It's quite mysterious why Chicken Skin is quite cheap on the streets while my father said that it's quite expensive in restaurants because when you order Chicken Skin, the chef is forced to disposed of the whole chicken since they won't have use for skinless chicken anymore and you would have to pay for the whole chicken.

What a shame.

Another venue wherein I've tasted this chicken stuff is at QC. A pack of deep-fried, chicharon style of chicken skin costs P5.00 per pack (5-6 pieces). After I've tasted that stuff, I immediately wanted to marry the vendor [even though she's a lesbian] so that I can always taste that kind of good chicken stuff for free. I am going to make that cart of chicken stuff our joint property.

Crunchy. Tasty. The taste is undeniably exquisite. And the smell is absolutely astounding. You'll definitely gonna want to eat that stuff everyday up until you're high blood pressure is up to the ceiling and that feathers are growing on your skin.

That's definitely the danger on that food. The skin diseases and the blood pressure. My mother removes the skin on our chicken so I don't get to enjoy that stuff often. Chicken skin contains a very high cholesterol level.

Anyway, it's really good. If I'd ever get that chance to eat this everyday, I'd go for it up until I grow feathers and a beak and cock-a-doodle-doo in the morning.

What's the downside? Unfreshly cooked chicken skin that's almost like bubble gum. Better buy it after it's fried to get that crunchy quality.

Calamares - Of all the new generation of street food, I favor this Calamares almost always [I hope ate siomai won't get jealous]. I think I'm getting addicted. I'm always searching and smelling at possible alleys where they would sell this.

Just like siomai, calamares used to be served at restaurants. I think the calamares-on-carts just recently boomed. They're like farts that suddenly emerge out of nowhere. And now they're bought for P3.00 a piece with no guarantee of where the squid came from [or if it even really is a squid]

The first calamares fry that I've tasted was at the side of our school wherein they first take your order and then they cook it. The process is quite lengthy, since they would dip the calamare piece on a special cream sauce, roll it on some bread crumb breadings and then fry it until golden brown. It takes about 10 minutes for an order to be cooked.

But it is worth the wait. The vendors at Mapua are gone though. Must be the Red Tide attack on their supplier.

I once saw a thick and plump calamares at Raon one time and I said to myself, "MY OH MY! THIS IS CALAMARES HEAVEN!". But then I was wrong. It's been three bites and still no squid. Pure breading. What a joke. I was in a hurry to get the 1 x 2.5 inch calamares piece that the other customer was after. I thought I'm going to be calamares-stick fight with him.

Because of the disappointment, I bought 3 pieces of calamares and paid the vendor P100.00! Ahaha! You bitch! Go get some change!

The other cart was different though. It was pure squid. You can see it's true form. The cooking is solid and has little starch on it. The personality of the squid is complete in his cooking. It is not conceived by pretentious starch. That is true squid at it's plain form.

Just like a knight in shining armor.

It's a mystery to me though, on how easy on the budget the calamares-cart seems to be. Sometimes I imagine if the calamares really is a squid or a piece of a rubber Havaianas, since they have the same chewy texture. Well, I bet Havaianas does taste good too.

After eating the "fake" calamares, I remembered the man that was selling empanadas at the bus on my trip to Batangas. One guy bought an which was advertised as Pork and Chicken empanada to the passengers, and he was complaining and kept on mentioning "Asan na ang pork at chicken? Puro naman kamote at patatas ito.". Poor guy, a victim of false advertisement. I thought that maybe those potatoes were boiled on pork or chicken flavored broth. The vendor didn't mention anything about the empanada having REAL pork and chicken pieces, he just kept on shouting PORK and CHICKEN empanadas. Those empanadas are similar to those hamburgers that they sell, and when you got a bite on it, it's just ham and not a burger patty. What a bunch of misleading jerks!

Chicken Strips - This must be where the chicken meat ends up. You know, the chicken meat on restaurants where they remove the skin on? This must be where they end up, as chicken strips. This is good too. You don't need to go to Jollibee or KFC just to have a piece of chicken strip. Well this can also be considered K.F.C. - Kanto Fried Chicken. This comes for about P2.00-P2.50 a piece with the usual "Universal Vinegar" as it's sauce. It's really good though, pure chicken meat, no bones whatsoever. Just munch and munch away with real chicken goodness on every bite.

Stuff On A Stick - Now this is actually a mystery to me on what this stuff really is. Must be a gall bladder, or kidney, or whatever of a chicken. I haven't actually tasted one of these but they really smell nice when the cart of it is around the place. It's a deep fried stuff that looks like chicken isaw. According to Migs it's chicken bladder and it's the one that gave him amoebiasis or some sort of sickness.

I'm going to try them sometime, for that is the goal of a streetfood fanatic, to try everything that they sell, and everything that's advised by the parents to not eat.

Pancit Canton, HalfLong, Burgers - This was actually the most patronized of all the street food there is for us students in Intramuros, most especially Mapua students. Now these snacks are not the typical street food, but because their stores occupy a very large area of the side street near Mapua, I've included them here.

There's nothing very special about them of course, just your typical instant pancit canton from Lucky Me, or a spicy chicken of Yakisoba, or even a normal HalfLong.

NOTE: The halflong is a term used for an order of half a foot long. Normally when someone orders a hotdog sandwich, they just say half long since they just have footlong hotdogs there so they have to cut it in half, thus the name HalfLong.


All these writing made me hungry. I crave for whatever the street offers.

Kung ano-ano na nga ang naiisip ng mga tao. Basta may breading na harina, ititinda na nila. Baka mamaya niyan eh magtinda na sila ng pritong gulaman o kaya eh pritong pilik-mata ng kambing o kung ano mang klase.

Sana naman eh magtinda sila minsan ng healthy, gaya ng breaded ampalaya or steamed radish skin.

But I do enjoy street food. It's affordable and good-tasting. Just don't question anything about sanitary issues. It's gonna be a debate.

New Generation, new taste. Go and get sick.

Take It To The Street

Ah yes. Almost everyone likes dirty stuff.

Dirty talks.
Dirty shows.
Dirty scenes.
Dirty.
Dirty, dirty dirty.

Yes, dirty.

As for me, aside from dirty films and shows, I go for those referred to by parents as DIRTY FOOD.

Street food. Most commonly introduced by parents as disease-bringers and food that will take you straight to the hospital bed.

Inihaws, tuhog-tuhog, saw-saw, and anything sold on the street that is covered with an orange-colored substance and most probably burnt to toast will be the most beautiful thing for me to see on the street. Either they are sold on stalls or by carts, they will always amaze my taste buds and they will always be a part of my everyday budget.

Fishballs, Kikiam, Squidballs, Chickenballs - The little cute fried balls.

Fishballs are most common and most well-known of all fried street delicacies. Fishball was once the reigning king of streetfood until manufacturers decided to add other grinded stuff to the market. Fishballs are known for it's "fishy" taste. These so-called fishballs are much more appropriate to be called fish-circles since after they are cooked, they become 2-dimensional flat circles instead of balls.

Kikiams are such mysteries to me. I don't really know what kikiams are made of, probably the same old stuff fishballs are made of, only a lot more dirtier.

Squidballs and chickenballs are pretty much the same. You would think that you hit the jackpot because you can eat squidballs and chickenballs as large as a cow's ball. But as soon as you pierce them with your stick, you realize that they are as the same size as they are before they are cooked.

And that's what you call Marketing Strategy.

The truth is, there isn't anything special about these products. They are pretty much the same, no advantage on each other whatsoever. The one thing that differs them from one another is the sauce.

Definitely the SAUCE.

The sole source of bacteria, sickness, and all those icky-ikcy things that they show at dishwashing liquid commercials.

The sauce is the life of these balls. Pare-pareho lang ang mga balls na yan, sa sarsa lang nagkaiba.

B.S. in Fishbology, Major in Sarsology. That's the course offered for those who are willing to live a baller's life.

Kung ang fishballs ay gawa sa bulok na fish, ang squidballs ay gawa sa bulok na squid, ang chickenballs ay gawa sa bulok na chicken, saan gawa ang kikiam? Sa bulok na???


TOKNENE (TOKNENENG), KWEK-KWEK, ODOCs - They are all together in the same family of fowls.

Quail eggs, Balut, Penoy, and One Day Old Chicks (ODOCs). Yes, the fowl street cuisine can really be a great anti-hunger tool. For about 5 to 8 Php for big eggs such as Penoy (sometimes coated with orange-colored starch and deep friend to perfection), it can really be a treat for someone who is low on budget. Quail eggs come in about 2 to 2.50 Php per piece.

As for the ODOCs, I haven't tried on yet. I just can't take the idea that a chick is sacrificed in place of a fully grown chicken. But street cuisine is street cuisine, and that there is no such thing as wastage. I will try one of those these days.

Balut eggs are a different thing. At 9 to 10 Php a piece, they sometimes come in ducklings or chicks. Such a pleasant surprise inside. Although not a very preferrable meal to the hungry ones. It has been adviced not to eat Balut when hungry. It is said that the beaks and the feet of the chicks or the duckling can't be digested by your stomach, thus giving you excruciating stomach pain.

Penoy is the friendlier side of Balut. It's just soft-boiled egg, and very tasty with a bit of a wholesome, less-morbid theme.

Penoy-Baluuuuuuuurrrt!!!!

INIHAW SA KANTO - Yes, the smoking little cart of Mang I-don't-know-his-name.

There's always one of these in almost every kanto that you see. I guess it makes them the most accessible street food. Although they only sell these products at mid-afternoon or at night. Since nobody would like to be having these on lunch. These are preferably eaten at night or at the afternoon as a merienda. You could take them for dinner sometime and they're great on well-cooked rice.


You pretty much have to kill a lot of chicken and pigs before you can get that much amount of tinuhog delicacy. It's like a festival of inihaw every night. There's always a variety of treats to choose from, and I do mean a variety.

Almost every discarded part of a chicken can be seen in this type of store (except for the chicken shit and feathers). For chicken parts, we have isaw or bituka, ulo or helmet, paa or adidas, bato, balun-balunan, and other chicken parts that who knows what the name is. Even the throat of the chicken is now being served at our local ihawan.

For pig parts we have atay or liver, dugo or betamax, ears, and the intestine as well. And being innovative Filipinos that we are, I think that there'd be more additional treats to these favorites. Among the ones that will probably be sold are, kuko, bayag, mata, ilong, pwet, buntot, suso or utong (hey, who wouldn't go for these?), and whatever the people can think of eating. Although when they are in the cart, they all look the same, except for their varying sizes and shapes. They are all just a lump of edible disease on a stick. A very tasty and delightful disease on a stick. Well the disease comes depending on the strength of your immune system, and your stomach.



Manong Isaw: Ano po sa inyo ma'm?
Babae: Magkano ang isaw ng manok?
Manong Isaw: Limampiso po.
Babae: O sige, bigyan mo ako ng lima. Piliin mo yung may tae-tae ha?


Dirty Ice Cream - Nothing beats the everyday flavor of the month. It's the perfect alternative to Selecta or Magnolia Specials. Can't get enough of it. You just have to face the same flavor everytime you buy. Avocado, Chocolate, Cheese, Mango, Cookies and Cream, perhaps Strawberry once in a while, and that's it. I can't get my regular supply of them anymore because they are banned here in the in our place.


Tongtenong. Tongtenong. Tongtenongteng. Tongtenong. Tongtenong. Tonongtonongtenongteng!!!


The street is the sanctuary for a man that doesn't have much on his pocket but pennies. That's the kind of man I am. I love the street, and what they have to offer.

Oh yeah, I forgot the Peanuts. Extra garlic please manong. Sugar-coated or spicy is the usual flavor.

There are also some that I haven't tried before, such as deep-fried sebo ng baka and chicken skin. I think chicken skin is expensive because you have to get only the skin of the chicken and dispose the meat.

Well that's what my dad told me. I also like to try ramen on the street, although they have the highest possibility of being recycled. Chicharong bulaklak was rumored to be human intestines from hospitals. Most of the times, they taste like shit so you have to have extra chili on your vinegar.


Masarap talaga ang marumi...

Everytime you put one of those things in your mouth, be sure that you are willing to face the consequences of each and every little deadly bacteria they contain.

Exquisite food sometimes come at a very high price, which is your health.

So go, indulge yourself.

There's always vitamins and pineapple juices right?

Manumbalik

Hindi na ako ganoon kadalas magsulat sa aking mumunting lugar ng tulala.

Sa mga panahon na ito eh madami akong rason para hindi matulala.

Pwede kong sabihin na naging "busy" ako. Lagi naman akong busy. Hindi ako nawawalan ng gawain sa araw-araw gaya ng paghinga, matagal na panahon ng pagtulog, at pagkain ng sangkatutak na junkfoods, at magpa-ampon kila Dustin ng isa't kalahating araw.

Ano na nga ba ang nangyayare sa paligid ko? Makapag-update nga.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

Ayoko nung ZTE deal na yun. Masyadong mahal. Para broadband lang eh ang mahal-mahal na samantalang plan 999 lang sa PLDT ay may libre ka pang telepono tapos samantalang ang ZTE deal eh aabot sa 300 Bajillion ek-ek yung gastos. Sobrang kickback yun. Garapalan na. Tapos andami ding testigo.

Kung ako nga nung estudyante ako eh kinokonsensya ako sa kickback ko sa magulang ko sa halagang 300 pesos, eh pano pa yung sa kanila na 300 Bajillion.

Sabagay, ano nga ba namang kumpara ko sa "kunsensya" ng mga tao sa gobyerno.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

Naasikaso na pala ni Willie ang kanyang issue sa mga tao. Naipakita na niya yung nangyare dun sa kahon. May zero pala talagang nakalagay sa lahat ng kahon at saka pa lamang maiipakita sa huli ang pinaglalagyan ng value na 2 kaya nagkamali ng hugot si Papi.

At talagang ikinuwento ko pa yun dito eh noh. Fuck.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

Gusto ko sanang i-congratulate ang kaibigan kong si Ninong para sa pagkakapanalo niya ng 3RD PLACE, that's right, 3RD PLACE sa Wika2007 Essay Writing Contest. Ewan ko kung essay nga ba yun or ano, basta nanalo siya at ikalawa naman siya sa boto ng mga judges. Naging third lang siguro siya dahil sa boto.

Kung naipromote ko lang sana ang kanyang entry dito eh di nakakuha pa siya ng mga isa o dalawang votes! Ahaha!

Para naman kasing sikat ang blog ko para makatulong, haha.

Pero congratulations sa kanya at nakamit niya ang ikatlong pwesto.

At ako naman ang ika-unang pwesto.

Joke lang.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

Dalawang araw nanaman akong di naliligo. Pwede mong sabihin na environmentalist na ako sa ganitong estado dahil hindi ako nakatulong sa pagbawas ng Angat Dam, La Mesa Dam, o Ga Dam.

Mabait akong tao at nakakatulong ako sa pagtitipid ng tubig.

Di ko lang natutulungan ang ozone layer at pagpigil sa global warming dahil sa amoy at mainit na singaw na inilalabas ng katawan ko dahil sa hindi ko pagligo.

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Patay na si Pavarotti. Pavarroti. Pavarrotti.

Ah basta, patay na si Luciano. Magaling siya kahit ano pa ang spelling ng pangalan niya. Sayang lang at iilan lang ang may ganitong antas ng opera singing talent sa mundo. Ewan ko lang kasi hindi naman ako masyadong mahilig sa opera. Pero sikat siya at patay na siya. Pero ayos lang kasi madami naman siyang naibahaging mga kanta. Tulad ng ano...

Syempre di ko alam, di ako mahilig sa opera.

Sobrang late na nito. Ewan ko kung bakit ko pa ito binanggit.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

Sobrang stagnant na nga daw ng blog ko sabi ni sir Dre.

Kumbaga, pwede nang pamahayan ng lamok sa sobrang stagnant.

Kaya nga ba nagsulat ako para hindi ako makakontribute sa pagkakalat ng dengue eh.

Unang Palabas

Aba, talaga nga namang lumaki na ang issue ng sagutan sa panig ni Papi at ni Joey.

Ito na nga yata ang pinakamainit na kaganapan ngayon sa ating bansa, maliban sa isyu ng terorismo. Pati ang mga senador eh iniimbita na si Papi sa senado.

Nadinig ata ang senado ang rekwest ni Joey na unahin ang Hello Papi bago ang Hello Garci.

Nabasa ko lang naman yun sa tabloid. Hindi ko alam kung para saan pa ang pagpupulong na magaganap sa pagitan ng mga senador at ni Willie. Napakabigat nga naman talaga't umabot pa sa senado.

Naapektuhan na din daw nito ang estado ng bansa. Mawawalan na ng foreign investors dahil sa scam na ito. At maaari na ding mawala ang mga nagbibigay ng dollars sa show ni Willie. So sad.

Bakit naman kasi nagkamali pa sa paghugot ng papel si Papi, ayun tuloy, napuna siya ni Joey.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung bakit nga ba sobrang subaybay ni Joey ang mga nangyayare sa palabas ni Papi eh. Siguro pag commercial ng Eat Bulaga eh nanonood si Joey sa backstage, hehe. Gusto niyang makita si Luningning, dahil sawa na siya sa Sexbomb.

Kung sabagay, sawa na din ako sa Sexbomb. Gusto ko din si Mariposa at Luningning. Kaya nga ba't salamat at may Wowowee.

Pero sa isang linggong paglalamay eh nakakasawa na nga naman din ang ganitong isyu. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na din binibigyang-pansin yun. Natuwa lang ako kay Willie sapagkat napaiyak nanaman siya gaya ng pag-iyak niya noong panahon nila nina Randy at John sa Magandang Tanghali Bayan.

Ika nga ng kaibigan kong si Pauee, dapat daw eh pinaghaharap-harap na ang mga hosts ng mga noontime shows na yan at magpatayan na silang lahat sapagkat nakakasawa na ang drama.

Yung tipong 1 on 1 sila Joey at Papi na parang Tekken lang. Sa una, magsasagutan muna sila ng mga masasakit na paratang at salita. Tapos maghaharapan sila na parang boksingero. Tapos magbabanatan na sila na parang Dragon Ball.

Papi: "HETONG SAYO JOEY!!! SUPER MEGA WILYONARYO!!!!"

*KABOOM!!!*

Joey: "Akala mo ikaw lang meron niyan? HETONG SAYO!!! MEGARIFFIC ULTRA PINOY HENYO BEAM!!!"

Papi: "PASALOG BOMBER!!!"

Joey: "Tangina mo gago! Explain before you complain!!!"

Papi: *Sob*... "Wag kang mamersonal... huhuhu"

Joey: "Ulol, lagyan mo ng luha yan paksyit ka!"

Papi: *Tusok mata*

PALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABAS

Tama nga naman yun. Pero yung kay Willie ang mas gugustuhin kong mawala ng saglit o palitan ng tema ng palabas.

Parang soap opera nga naman, ayos sa aking kaibigan na si santongbusabos. Melodramatic ang style ng pamimigay ng premyo. Papaiyakin muna ni Willie ang mga kalahok bago pamudmudan ng super daming dollars.

Syempre inggit ako, sangkaterbang pera yun eh.

Sa context ng charity at kawanggawa, walang kwestyon yun. Kaso lang eh sobrang soap opera based ang palabas niya.

Buti na lang eh andyan si Luningning. Oh lala. RAWR!!!

PALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABAS

Magandang ideya yung magpatayan sila ng mga hosts, saka isama na din nila ang mga morning shows kung pwede. Palitan na lang nila ng educational shows at mga parang Discovery Channel o pangmatandang Blue's Clues para madagdagan ang kaalam ng mga tao.

Dapat yata kasi eh parang commercial na lang ang mga palaro ng noontime shows at hindi na kailangan pang sumakop ng isang buong length ng palabas. Kumbaga, ikokomersyal na lang kung sinong nanalo. Mga 15-minute show na ipapalabas lang yung mga nanalo sa contest.

Para hindi na sila magpapakulelat ng mga tao at magtatanong sila ng kalokohan.

Tulong kung tulong at hindi ratings.

Tapos iiyak-iyak naman kapag nakutya.

Sample Question: Kung ang talong ay eggplant, ano naman ang exothermic?

Eh sino bang makakasagot basta-basta ng ganun? Tapos may mga kanta-kanta pa. Sose.

Kung tutulong ka, wag mo na ding gawing palabas.

Gawin mo na lang commercial.

Test This Shit

There's far lot more of amazing processes beyond our universe. There's the Black Hole, the Big Bang Theory, and Alien bacterial reproduction.

But regarding these things, there are also few mysterious processes occuring in our planet aside from Lunar Eclipses and Ozone Layer thinning.

And what I am talking about is Stool Sampling.

Well, this may not be a bigger topic or matter than presidential speeches and human cloning, but we cannot deny the fact that stool sampling is a crucial part of our professional life and must not be taken lightly.

As a regular procedure of the so-called Medical Examinations [that a professional must undergo as a part of the employment phase], stool sampling takes is place at the bottom part of the procedure. It can provide basic information about your medical condition and it can also predict the recent diet you've been taking.

Aside from the undigested vegetables such as beans and kangkong, stool samples can predict your future. Well of course that is if there's any fortune teller that is willing to look at your shit just to predict the future.

I therefore provide these tips in order for you to fully utilize such process. Remember that stool sampling may sound simple and appear incomplex, but there is such great process that occupies its name.

DISCLAIMER: As usual, the following tips and/or procedures and/or descriptions has not undergone any testing procedure and should be handled with care. Any particular result regarding the said procedure may be discussed here.

Tips/Steps to a successful Stool Sample Extraction by Tannix

1. RELAX - stool extraction is not a gang war nor it is World War I or II. It is not forced. Stool extraction is quite similar to sexual intercouse where in the use of force can produce undesirable and painful sensations.

It is a delicate process and be sure to be at at relaxed state of the physical and mental. One must be at a calmed wholly calmed and not rushing at all times. Do not be impatient and wait for the proper timing.

Remember how Don Juan captured the Ibong Adarna? He waited until the bird was vulnerable enough to be caught.

I'm not saying that you should slash your wrists and squirt citrus juices on them. What I'm saying is that you should be patient enough and relax in order for the procedure to be carried out accordingly. You may not obtain a successful result, but a relaxed state of both mind and body can ease the process.

2. HAVE THE RIGHT TOOLS - in the fast-paced pace of technology today, we cannot deny the fact that 20 or 21 years in the future, there are numerous supermachines that are readily available in the market that are specially designed for stool sampling or extraction. In the near future, you may even send your stool samples ONLINE.

Either you attach it with your e-mail, you fax it to the company, or you send it via bluetooth or WiFi.

But as of now, we must live with what we have and be able to utilize the functions of our current technology.

Usual Tools may be any of the following:

A.) Extractor - an extractor may be as simple as a spoon or as sophisticated machine that can extract stool samples from your anus. You can choose from a variety of plastic spoons [and NOT FORK] from different fastfood companies, particularly Jollibee and Mcdo.

You may opt for McDonald's spoon since it's much smoother and it can't damage your asshole. Keep in mind that you don't necessarily have to order from a fastfood chain just to obtain spoons like these. You can also use silverwares since they are easy to clean and gives a tingling effect since it is made of metal.

An alternative extractor may be a popsicle stick from Magnolia or Selecta products. Just be sure that you have already eaten the popsicle or ice cream from the stick before you stick it up your ass. You may pick any flavor of popsicle. I prefer orange.

NOTE: Popsicle sticks have long been a tool used by clinics to observe your throats during check-ups. It pushes your tongue downward to fully get a view of your throat. You must be observant enough to know if the popsicle stick has already been used for stool extraction. If the popsicle stick tastes unusual, then you should go sue your clinic.



B.) Container - medical examiners usually provide containers for the feces during the period of medical exams. But at the case of when you are not given, it is advised that you are to pick an airtight container to prevent the smell from infesting the area.

You can choose tupperwares or microwavable containers.

Bottles with rubber seals or Close-up resealable sachet is also an option for the container. You can choose a paper plate or a newspaper, it's your shit anyways, so you still get to decide. If you're really out of containers, you can hand carry the sample until you get to submit it to the examiners.





C.) Disinfecting Materials - stool extraction is not a neat process. It is as delicate as the process of giving birth [and also as painful if your shit is as big as a child], and it is full of germs and is no way near sterilized.



It is therefore adviced that you are to use alcohol, soap, tissue paper, alcogel, gasoline, matchstick, atomic bomb, holy water, and scotch brite and Joy Antibac or any disinfecting materials you know in order to ensure proper shit extraction. You can also use medical rubber gloves in order be truly disinfected.

3. BE PREPARED - sometimes, it is difficult to predict the exact time that you are to shit. You should be prepared at all times. It is not advisable that you are to induce fecal extraction for faster results.

Example: You are to eat Bagoong, and then you drink Chocolait, and you eat champoy, peanuts, raisins, and green mango, and tamarind. Within minutes, you are sure to be shitting your pants.

This process will result into undesirable...uhm, results. Remember that stool extraction is quite similar to giving birth and should be prepared for.

Medical examiners, more often than not, require individuals to produce FRESH SAMPLES of shit. Stools are not like meat products that you can place inside the refrigerator to keep the freshness when the submission of the sample is not yet due. It may be mistaken for some sort of sauce or Kimchi if placed in the refrigerator.

Also practice proper asshole muscular control. You don't want to let the shit be pouring too fast when you extract it. Might as well use the toilet first and fish the samples from there.

Do not be dismayed if the stool extraction is a failure for the reason of diarrhea or false alarms. Stools are not always the thing that are to come out of your ass. It may be a tiyanak or a big fart. Nonetheless, you should be prepared.

4. BACK-UP - If all else fails, you could try to extract the sample directly at the venue of the examiners. It is a good thing since you are sure to obtain a sample. You could try to extract at a specific time. Let's say after lunch, when you've had two Big Macs.

The only drawback would be that your ass would have the condition of unfamiliarity with the different toilets and you would be having difficulty shitting out the samples. Most puwets have this namamahay condition that prevents them from "letting go".


Remember that this is stool extraction and not sperm donation. You can't use a porno magazine to induce a sample.

So it is best to be prepared.

There are many possibilities when it comes to stool sampling. Your imagination is the limit.

I hope these tips help.

You can always normally deliver shit out your ass. It's been always like that since you were born.

Blah Blah Blah

Aba naman anak, matulog ka na. Anong oras na oh? Tignan mo nga yang relo at alas tres na ng madaling araw!

Oooh, look! It is already past three AM in the morning...

Wait, let me say that again.

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Ooooh, look! It is already past three AM!

Ah, there, I got it.

What the hell am I doing here at this hour in time!


Ah, I miss my blogs. My cute little blogs. My precious... KHEEEHK!!!

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Ah, that was just Mr. Gollum petting his pretty blog.

But I do miss my blog. I am here again after quite sometime of not visiting my own page here in the world wide web.

I've got stories to tell, a tale to share... and lots more of those mumbo jumbo that I've got to write. People might not idolize me that much if I slack around so I better get busy!

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First of all, I am awake right now because I've been playing this game called [burududududududud.... - that's suppose to be a drum roll]

Commandos : Destination Berlin.

It's the third installment of the game, and it's quite old. I liked the game because of the environment and how you play it. Pretty much like uhm... Lemmings, but with a little bit of explosions. Well, not actually like Lemmings.

Ah basta, yun na yun!

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Medyo nawala na ang antok ko dahil kumain ako ng manok. Di ko alam kung anong meron sa manok na yun. Nakakain ata ng beans ng kape kaya hindi ako makatulog kanina. Pero ngayon inaantok na ako kaya dapat eh tapusin ko na ang mga sinasabi ko dito. Gusto ko ng sleeping pills. Gusto ko ng time extender. Gusto ko ng... ah, basta may mga gusto ako sa buhay.

Yung manok nga pala eh dala ng kabarkada ng ate ko. Birthday kasi niya kaninang August 29. Babatiin ko sana siya kaso lang natulog na, kaya next year na lang. Napakaswerte naman niya kung batiin ko pa sya ngayon eh kahapon ang birthday niya. Ano siya? Birthday? Sus!

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Medyo madami na akong issues na napapalampas na feel ko eh dapat kong gawan ng opinyon.

Merong matabang mayaman na nakakatanggap ng death threath na ayaw ng Axe dahil may Jo Malone na siya. Merong mga TV hosts na nag-aasaran at nag-iiyakan. Merong mga alien na napakatigas ng mukha na hatalang-halatang non-biodegradable ang materyales na ginagamit. At meron din naman mga isyu na hindi ko na maalala na feel ko dapat kong gawan ng opinyon.

Sa ngayon, eh "busy" ako eh.


Oo, yung parang sa telepono lang. Tut. Tut. Tut. Tut. Tut. Taaat. Taaat. Taaat. Taaat...

TURORIT. TURORIT. TURORIT...

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Pero medyo "busy" ako ngayon. Saka ko na ikukwento ang dahilan kung bakit medyo bumagal ang blogging rate ko ngayon imbes na halos mga 2 entries per day.

Kasi medyo... ah, teka lang. Pumapasok sa garahe namen yung putanginang pusa na palaging nakikidaan dito sa loob ng bahay.

Ang malas naman ng kumag na ito at naabutan niyang gising ako. Haha, tangina niya.

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Ah, ayun. Hindi ko naman inabutan ang ungas. Mabilis pa sa daga kung tumakbo. Akala kasi basta-basta lang dumaan dito sa bahay. Gago talagang pusa yun. Minsan nga pupuntahan ko ang magulang nun at isusumbong ko na eh. Sumosobra na kasi.

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Ah, hello nga pala sa mga readers. Gusto ko lang malaman nyo na buhay pa ang may-ari ng blog na ito, at pati ang blog na ito. Medyo kinakapos lang sa oras kaya kahit isang letra, isang araw, hindi ako makapaglagay.

Sino ba naman kasi ang magbabasa lang ng isang letra diba? Siguro yung mga pre-school pero super henyo naman nila kung marunong na silang mag-operate ng computer. Parang ako lang siguro yun nung bata.

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Joke lang yung last sentence sa taas. Wala pa kameng computer noong pre-school ako. Pero meron kaming cellphone na kasing laki ng pangkaskas ng yelo. Yung parang pwedeng self-defense na cellphone dahil sobrang delikado niya.

Siguro sa isang minuto ng paggamit mo nung cellphone na yun eh 10M na agad ang mababawas sa brain cells mo.

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Wait a fucking minute, what I've been putting here has been too long. I might miss my sleepiness again.

I am not insomniac. I just can't sleep that early. And I don't wake up early. I just wake up late. Probably in the middle of the afternoon.

But I cannot do that later.

For it is my graduation day! Yay!

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After this shit, it's gonna be tannix the blogger boy! I shall blog and blog until my balls dry out.

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Ah, that must be too much. I can't do that. I'll just blog for fun.

BLOFF!!! BLOg For Fun!!!

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Ah puta, ang haba. Wala namang sense!