Unang Palabas

Aba, talaga nga namang lumaki na ang issue ng sagutan sa panig ni Papi at ni Joey.

Ito na nga yata ang pinakamainit na kaganapan ngayon sa ating bansa, maliban sa isyu ng terorismo. Pati ang mga senador eh iniimbita na si Papi sa senado.

Nadinig ata ang senado ang rekwest ni Joey na unahin ang Hello Papi bago ang Hello Garci.

Nabasa ko lang naman yun sa tabloid. Hindi ko alam kung para saan pa ang pagpupulong na magaganap sa pagitan ng mga senador at ni Willie. Napakabigat nga naman talaga't umabot pa sa senado.

Naapektuhan na din daw nito ang estado ng bansa. Mawawalan na ng foreign investors dahil sa scam na ito. At maaari na ding mawala ang mga nagbibigay ng dollars sa show ni Willie. So sad.

Bakit naman kasi nagkamali pa sa paghugot ng papel si Papi, ayun tuloy, napuna siya ni Joey.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung bakit nga ba sobrang subaybay ni Joey ang mga nangyayare sa palabas ni Papi eh. Siguro pag commercial ng Eat Bulaga eh nanonood si Joey sa backstage, hehe. Gusto niyang makita si Luningning, dahil sawa na siya sa Sexbomb.

Kung sabagay, sawa na din ako sa Sexbomb. Gusto ko din si Mariposa at Luningning. Kaya nga ba't salamat at may Wowowee.

Pero sa isang linggong paglalamay eh nakakasawa na nga naman din ang ganitong isyu. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na din binibigyang-pansin yun. Natuwa lang ako kay Willie sapagkat napaiyak nanaman siya gaya ng pag-iyak niya noong panahon nila nina Randy at John sa Magandang Tanghali Bayan.

Ika nga ng kaibigan kong si Pauee, dapat daw eh pinaghaharap-harap na ang mga hosts ng mga noontime shows na yan at magpatayan na silang lahat sapagkat nakakasawa na ang drama.

Yung tipong 1 on 1 sila Joey at Papi na parang Tekken lang. Sa una, magsasagutan muna sila ng mga masasakit na paratang at salita. Tapos maghaharapan sila na parang boksingero. Tapos magbabanatan na sila na parang Dragon Ball.

Papi: "HETONG SAYO JOEY!!! SUPER MEGA WILYONARYO!!!!"

*KABOOM!!!*

Joey: "Akala mo ikaw lang meron niyan? HETONG SAYO!!! MEGARIFFIC ULTRA PINOY HENYO BEAM!!!"

Papi: "PASALOG BOMBER!!!"

Joey: "Tangina mo gago! Explain before you complain!!!"

Papi: *Sob*... "Wag kang mamersonal... huhuhu"

Joey: "Ulol, lagyan mo ng luha yan paksyit ka!"

Papi: *Tusok mata*

PALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABAS

Tama nga naman yun. Pero yung kay Willie ang mas gugustuhin kong mawala ng saglit o palitan ng tema ng palabas.

Parang soap opera nga naman, ayos sa aking kaibigan na si santongbusabos. Melodramatic ang style ng pamimigay ng premyo. Papaiyakin muna ni Willie ang mga kalahok bago pamudmudan ng super daming dollars.

Syempre inggit ako, sangkaterbang pera yun eh.

Sa context ng charity at kawanggawa, walang kwestyon yun. Kaso lang eh sobrang soap opera based ang palabas niya.

Buti na lang eh andyan si Luningning. Oh lala. RAWR!!!

PALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABASPALABAS

Magandang ideya yung magpatayan sila ng mga hosts, saka isama na din nila ang mga morning shows kung pwede. Palitan na lang nila ng educational shows at mga parang Discovery Channel o pangmatandang Blue's Clues para madagdagan ang kaalam ng mga tao.

Dapat yata kasi eh parang commercial na lang ang mga palaro ng noontime shows at hindi na kailangan pang sumakop ng isang buong length ng palabas. Kumbaga, ikokomersyal na lang kung sinong nanalo. Mga 15-minute show na ipapalabas lang yung mga nanalo sa contest.

Para hindi na sila magpapakulelat ng mga tao at magtatanong sila ng kalokohan.

Tulong kung tulong at hindi ratings.

Tapos iiyak-iyak naman kapag nakutya.

Sample Question: Kung ang talong ay eggplant, ano naman ang exothermic?

Eh sino bang makakasagot basta-basta ng ganun? Tapos may mga kanta-kanta pa. Sose.

Kung tutulong ka, wag mo na ding gawing palabas.

Gawin mo na lang commercial.

Test This Shit

There's far lot more of amazing processes beyond our universe. There's the Black Hole, the Big Bang Theory, and Alien bacterial reproduction.

But regarding these things, there are also few mysterious processes occuring in our planet aside from Lunar Eclipses and Ozone Layer thinning.

And what I am talking about is Stool Sampling.

Well, this may not be a bigger topic or matter than presidential speeches and human cloning, but we cannot deny the fact that stool sampling is a crucial part of our professional life and must not be taken lightly.

As a regular procedure of the so-called Medical Examinations [that a professional must undergo as a part of the employment phase], stool sampling takes is place at the bottom part of the procedure. It can provide basic information about your medical condition and it can also predict the recent diet you've been taking.

Aside from the undigested vegetables such as beans and kangkong, stool samples can predict your future. Well of course that is if there's any fortune teller that is willing to look at your shit just to predict the future.

I therefore provide these tips in order for you to fully utilize such process. Remember that stool sampling may sound simple and appear incomplex, but there is such great process that occupies its name.

DISCLAIMER: As usual, the following tips and/or procedures and/or descriptions has not undergone any testing procedure and should be handled with care. Any particular result regarding the said procedure may be discussed here.

Tips/Steps to a successful Stool Sample Extraction by Tannix

1. RELAX - stool extraction is not a gang war nor it is World War I or II. It is not forced. Stool extraction is quite similar to sexual intercouse where in the use of force can produce undesirable and painful sensations.

It is a delicate process and be sure to be at at relaxed state of the physical and mental. One must be at a calmed wholly calmed and not rushing at all times. Do not be impatient and wait for the proper timing.

Remember how Don Juan captured the Ibong Adarna? He waited until the bird was vulnerable enough to be caught.

I'm not saying that you should slash your wrists and squirt citrus juices on them. What I'm saying is that you should be patient enough and relax in order for the procedure to be carried out accordingly. You may not obtain a successful result, but a relaxed state of both mind and body can ease the process.

2. HAVE THE RIGHT TOOLS - in the fast-paced pace of technology today, we cannot deny the fact that 20 or 21 years in the future, there are numerous supermachines that are readily available in the market that are specially designed for stool sampling or extraction. In the near future, you may even send your stool samples ONLINE.

Either you attach it with your e-mail, you fax it to the company, or you send it via bluetooth or WiFi.

But as of now, we must live with what we have and be able to utilize the functions of our current technology.

Usual Tools may be any of the following:

A.) Extractor - an extractor may be as simple as a spoon or as sophisticated machine that can extract stool samples from your anus. You can choose from a variety of plastic spoons [and NOT FORK] from different fastfood companies, particularly Jollibee and Mcdo.

You may opt for McDonald's spoon since it's much smoother and it can't damage your asshole. Keep in mind that you don't necessarily have to order from a fastfood chain just to obtain spoons like these. You can also use silverwares since they are easy to clean and gives a tingling effect since it is made of metal.

An alternative extractor may be a popsicle stick from Magnolia or Selecta products. Just be sure that you have already eaten the popsicle or ice cream from the stick before you stick it up your ass. You may pick any flavor of popsicle. I prefer orange.

NOTE: Popsicle sticks have long been a tool used by clinics to observe your throats during check-ups. It pushes your tongue downward to fully get a view of your throat. You must be observant enough to know if the popsicle stick has already been used for stool extraction. If the popsicle stick tastes unusual, then you should go sue your clinic.



B.) Container - medical examiners usually provide containers for the feces during the period of medical exams. But at the case of when you are not given, it is advised that you are to pick an airtight container to prevent the smell from infesting the area.

You can choose tupperwares or microwavable containers.

Bottles with rubber seals or Close-up resealable sachet is also an option for the container. You can choose a paper plate or a newspaper, it's your shit anyways, so you still get to decide. If you're really out of containers, you can hand carry the sample until you get to submit it to the examiners.





C.) Disinfecting Materials - stool extraction is not a neat process. It is as delicate as the process of giving birth [and also as painful if your shit is as big as a child], and it is full of germs and is no way near sterilized.



It is therefore adviced that you are to use alcohol, soap, tissue paper, alcogel, gasoline, matchstick, atomic bomb, holy water, and scotch brite and Joy Antibac or any disinfecting materials you know in order to ensure proper shit extraction. You can also use medical rubber gloves in order be truly disinfected.

3. BE PREPARED - sometimes, it is difficult to predict the exact time that you are to shit. You should be prepared at all times. It is not advisable that you are to induce fecal extraction for faster results.

Example: You are to eat Bagoong, and then you drink Chocolait, and you eat champoy, peanuts, raisins, and green mango, and tamarind. Within minutes, you are sure to be shitting your pants.

This process will result into undesirable...uhm, results. Remember that stool extraction is quite similar to giving birth and should be prepared for.

Medical examiners, more often than not, require individuals to produce FRESH SAMPLES of shit. Stools are not like meat products that you can place inside the refrigerator to keep the freshness when the submission of the sample is not yet due. It may be mistaken for some sort of sauce or Kimchi if placed in the refrigerator.

Also practice proper asshole muscular control. You don't want to let the shit be pouring too fast when you extract it. Might as well use the toilet first and fish the samples from there.

Do not be dismayed if the stool extraction is a failure for the reason of diarrhea or false alarms. Stools are not always the thing that are to come out of your ass. It may be a tiyanak or a big fart. Nonetheless, you should be prepared.

4. BACK-UP - If all else fails, you could try to extract the sample directly at the venue of the examiners. It is a good thing since you are sure to obtain a sample. You could try to extract at a specific time. Let's say after lunch, when you've had two Big Macs.

The only drawback would be that your ass would have the condition of unfamiliarity with the different toilets and you would be having difficulty shitting out the samples. Most puwets have this namamahay condition that prevents them from "letting go".


Remember that this is stool extraction and not sperm donation. You can't use a porno magazine to induce a sample.

So it is best to be prepared.

There are many possibilities when it comes to stool sampling. Your imagination is the limit.

I hope these tips help.

You can always normally deliver shit out your ass. It's been always like that since you were born.

Blah Blah Blah

Aba naman anak, matulog ka na. Anong oras na oh? Tignan mo nga yang relo at alas tres na ng madaling araw!

Oooh, look! It is already past three AM in the morning...

Wait, let me say that again.

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Ooooh, look! It is already past three AM!

Ah, there, I got it.

What the hell am I doing here at this hour in time!


Ah, I miss my blogs. My cute little blogs. My precious... KHEEEHK!!!

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Ah, that was just Mr. Gollum petting his pretty blog.

But I do miss my blog. I am here again after quite sometime of not visiting my own page here in the world wide web.

I've got stories to tell, a tale to share... and lots more of those mumbo jumbo that I've got to write. People might not idolize me that much if I slack around so I better get busy!

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First of all, I am awake right now because I've been playing this game called [burududududududud.... - that's suppose to be a drum roll]

Commandos : Destination Berlin.

It's the third installment of the game, and it's quite old. I liked the game because of the environment and how you play it. Pretty much like uhm... Lemmings, but with a little bit of explosions. Well, not actually like Lemmings.

Ah basta, yun na yun!

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Medyo nawala na ang antok ko dahil kumain ako ng manok. Di ko alam kung anong meron sa manok na yun. Nakakain ata ng beans ng kape kaya hindi ako makatulog kanina. Pero ngayon inaantok na ako kaya dapat eh tapusin ko na ang mga sinasabi ko dito. Gusto ko ng sleeping pills. Gusto ko ng time extender. Gusto ko ng... ah, basta may mga gusto ako sa buhay.

Yung manok nga pala eh dala ng kabarkada ng ate ko. Birthday kasi niya kaninang August 29. Babatiin ko sana siya kaso lang natulog na, kaya next year na lang. Napakaswerte naman niya kung batiin ko pa sya ngayon eh kahapon ang birthday niya. Ano siya? Birthday? Sus!

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Medyo madami na akong issues na napapalampas na feel ko eh dapat kong gawan ng opinyon.

Merong matabang mayaman na nakakatanggap ng death threath na ayaw ng Axe dahil may Jo Malone na siya. Merong mga TV hosts na nag-aasaran at nag-iiyakan. Merong mga alien na napakatigas ng mukha na hatalang-halatang non-biodegradable ang materyales na ginagamit. At meron din naman mga isyu na hindi ko na maalala na feel ko dapat kong gawan ng opinyon.

Sa ngayon, eh "busy" ako eh.


Oo, yung parang sa telepono lang. Tut. Tut. Tut. Tut. Tut. Taaat. Taaat. Taaat. Taaat...

TURORIT. TURORIT. TURORIT...

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Pero medyo "busy" ako ngayon. Saka ko na ikukwento ang dahilan kung bakit medyo bumagal ang blogging rate ko ngayon imbes na halos mga 2 entries per day.

Kasi medyo... ah, teka lang. Pumapasok sa garahe namen yung putanginang pusa na palaging nakikidaan dito sa loob ng bahay.

Ang malas naman ng kumag na ito at naabutan niyang gising ako. Haha, tangina niya.

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Ah, ayun. Hindi ko naman inabutan ang ungas. Mabilis pa sa daga kung tumakbo. Akala kasi basta-basta lang dumaan dito sa bahay. Gago talagang pusa yun. Minsan nga pupuntahan ko ang magulang nun at isusumbong ko na eh. Sumosobra na kasi.

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Ah, hello nga pala sa mga readers. Gusto ko lang malaman nyo na buhay pa ang may-ari ng blog na ito, at pati ang blog na ito. Medyo kinakapos lang sa oras kaya kahit isang letra, isang araw, hindi ako makapaglagay.

Sino ba naman kasi ang magbabasa lang ng isang letra diba? Siguro yung mga pre-school pero super henyo naman nila kung marunong na silang mag-operate ng computer. Parang ako lang siguro yun nung bata.

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Joke lang yung last sentence sa taas. Wala pa kameng computer noong pre-school ako. Pero meron kaming cellphone na kasing laki ng pangkaskas ng yelo. Yung parang pwedeng self-defense na cellphone dahil sobrang delikado niya.

Siguro sa isang minuto ng paggamit mo nung cellphone na yun eh 10M na agad ang mababawas sa brain cells mo.

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Wait a fucking minute, what I've been putting here has been too long. I might miss my sleepiness again.

I am not insomniac. I just can't sleep that early. And I don't wake up early. I just wake up late. Probably in the middle of the afternoon.

But I cannot do that later.

For it is my graduation day! Yay!

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After this shit, it's gonna be tannix the blogger boy! I shall blog and blog until my balls dry out.

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Ah, that must be too much. I can't do that. I'll just blog for fun.

BLOFF!!! BLOg For Fun!!!

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Ah puta, ang haba. Wala namang sense!

I Hate Men

I saw this on my brother's poster, a long time ago.

I couldn't find any of the original copy, so I just made one myself.

I Hate Men
by tannix

I hate men
Because they bring me
To the dark alleys and corners
Oh how I hate them

With their thin dirty fingers
They hold my body
With their black lips
They smother me


I hate men
For they take me to their bedrooms
They take away my purity
And suck the sweetness out of me

I hate men
For after being used and abused
They throw me aside
And I am as good as a rag

They leave me to die
And most times
I get stepped on
As if I did not pleasure them

I hate men
For I cannot do anything
And what can I do...




For I am only a cigarette

Evasion

There will come a point in our lives in which we have to avoid something. Evasion is not an act of cowardice, it is a form of protecting oneself. A protection in which we can save ourselves from the negativities of these forces that surround us.

And often times, what we have to evade are people.

People who's got the extreme hots for us. It may be because of our aura, our sex appeal, our extreme looks and probably just because we are damn gorgeous. It may be these type of people or just some kind of pesky neighbor trying to sell you something.

And we just can't entertain them anymore because we are in a current relationship, or we just simply don't like to see the person because of how they dress, how they act, how they smell, and how they treat us. For any reason at all, we just have to evade these people.

My friends, let me give you some tips on how we could successfully(?) avoid certain people that are after us.

DISCLAIMER: These steps have not been tested in any way. I shall not be held responsible for any fatal results whatsoever.

Possible Evasion Tactics by Tannix

1. IF THE PEOPLE YOU ARE AVOIDING TOLD YOU THAT THEY ARE GOING TO YOUR PLACE, IMMEDIATELY INFORM THEM THAT YOU HAVE AN LEAVING FOR SOMEWHERE RIGHT AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT THEY ARE TO ARRIVE.

It is important that you have to let these people believe that your destination is believable and it really exists. Choose a place like Disneyland, Mars or Jupiter. Tell them that you want to meet aliens and that you want to personally measure how big is Jupiter. You can also tell them that you're attending the funeral of the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin. Or you just have to be somewhere you weren't suppose to be just because they are coming.

Tell this to the people being avoided every time they are visiting so that surprise visits are to be eluded.

2. DON'T BATHE FOR FIVE... wait... make it SEVEN DAYS UP TO A MONTH. ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN JUST WIPE YOUR ARMPITS BUT DON'T PUT DEODORANTS

Your nasty smell shall serve as the "insect repellant" for the annoying people you are trying to avoid. You can also jog inside your cabinet for easy perspiration. You must do this before the person arrives and be sure to give them a hug whenever they arrive.

If you cannot deem to not take a bath or go with the wiping thing, you could proceed with cleaning your nails regularly and not letting them grow.

Hey, you may smell like hell, but at least you've got pretty clean fingernails!

3. PRETEND THAT SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A DEATH THREAT AND YOU ARE IN DANGER AT ALL TIMES.

Certain proof of a death threat must be established. You must make the person believe that any person that has a connection with you which is a man/woman/gay/lesbian, has an age within the range of 1-100 years old, within the vicinity of your area or is in the Philippines, has the starting letter of their name included in the English alphabet, is 100 percent and positively sure that their lives are in danger. Also indicate to the person that surprisingly, all the members of your clan are not included in this death threat.

4. YOU COULD TRY TO GET THESE FOLLOWING ANIMALS AS PETS: RATS, COCKROACH, BEDBUGS, FLEAS, MOSQUITOES, SNAKE, BEES, ALLIGATORS, FROGS, FLIES, CENTIPEDES, LIONS, TIGERS, BEARS, ASWANGS, TIKBALANGS, KAPRE, JELLYFISHES AND OTHER ADORABLE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT.

Be sure to display them in your house[in a bragging manner] whenever you are visited by the person being avoided.

It is advisable for you to treat your pest..er...pests as part of your family. Give them enough love and devotion that you would give a "normal" pet. Be sure to show affection to the pet by kissing them in front of the person and feeding them regularly.

NOTICE:

A. As advised by Bob Ong - Do not place the frogs and snakes, frogs and mosquitoes and/or flies and/ or bees and/or bedbugs, snakes and rats, in a single cage unless you want your house to become a food chain chart.

B. Be advised to feed the pets 3 times a day or based on their dietary allowances.

C. Keep out the Aswangs out of sunlight. They will surely die at the morning [given by popular belief]. Provide sunblocks if necessary.

D. Be sure to have an ample supple of "grass" for the Kapres. Keep an ample supply for the Tikbalangs as well because aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo.

E. Provide labels for the cages. It is most likely that the jellyfishes will end up as pulutan for the drunk family member, being mistaken it for a squid.

F. If the said animal is unavailable for purchase due to some DENR issues, you may replace it with a "replacement" such as a picture of Madam Auring or Diego of Bubble Gang.

*DISCLAIMER*

This particular step will not be held liable for the damages that it will surely bring to you, to your pets [or pests], or to the brother of the sister of the neighbor of the godfather of the mother-in-law of the cat of the son of the househelp of your cousin.

If ever your house burns, you die, or your whole clan is exterminated, I won't be held liable. I just gave these things as a guide. If such things happen, I don't exist anymore.

NOTE: I am usually used to the pets mentioned above.

5. ALWAYS TAKE A NAP OR GO TO SLEEP WHENEVER THE AVOIDED PERSON IS AT YOUR HOUSE.

It's best of you would induce narcolepsy or take some sort of downers or munch on sleeping pills like peanuts. It is also advised to use camping gears such as tents and bonfires right in front of the person you are avoiding. Be sure to sleep in the place where the person is positioned.

6. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, PROVIDE TANNIX WITH CONTACT DETAILS OF THE PERSON BEING AVOIDED.

This particular step is only applicable if the person being avoided is a woman, between 18 to 23 years of age, single, sexy, cute, beautiful, gorgeous, kind, cheerful, a good cook, sings very well, understanding, patient, thoughtful, sweet, and pretty, has no criminal and/or psychotic behavior and/or records, and/or psychological issues, has a loving parents, and has no bad habits. Oh, and with hot and oozing sex appeal that's also a freak in the sheets.

Please give the details of the woman to tannixkinse@yahoo.com, or to friendster.com/tannix, and to this blog.



And these are said tips that are to be followed for avoiding people, may it be a stalker, an in-law, bill collector or someone asking a favor, I'm sure this will surely help.

Thank you and goodluck to the evasion.

So Horny

So Horny
by tannix

I'm horny, so horny
Like the song
Redundant of its tune
So horny, Oh so horny

You make my skin shiver
And my flesh tremble
I have you in my sight
And I won't let go

I want you here
In front of me
Pleasure my desires
And prepare yourself

I will get you
When you least expect it
And I will make my move
The most pleasurable of all

Mr. Matador, your red sheet
Is what annoys me
With your piercing sword
You will go down with the dust

The Road

Ops, English nga tayo! Tignan naten kung gaano ako tatagal magsulat ng English!

ROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROAD

Life is very tiring for someone who commutes everyday. Back in college, where I had classes almost everyday, the only means for me to travel is to take the PUVs. I don't have a car, nor I don't know anything about teleportation or flying. So the most obvious thing to do is commute using the PUVs. They come in buses, FXs, jeeps, tricycles, and pedicabs and trains. I've taken a ride in each of these PUVs and I've gotten much stories from them during almost the entirety of my college life.

There's actually a lot of interesting stuff to see and experience when you travel on PUVs. There's a lot of things you can experience and also observe, which you can't usually do when you drive. Aside from sleeping and counting endless hours when in stuck in traffic, you don't get to do anything else except observe everything that's in your surroundings. I am glad and thankful that I've not experienced any life-threatening accidents nor have I been robbed or pick-pocketed in any of these PUVs.

There's just this annoying stuff that bothers you for a minute or two.

How annoying?

How about this: almost everyday of the week, you get to ride a jeepney that's passing by the gasoline station to fill-up. It has become more than annoying for me. It's a curse I tell you, A CURSE!!!

I have lost track of the times this happened but it happens often. There's probably thousands of jeepneys in our area and even in Manila, but I always ride on the ones that are filling up their gas tanks. It usually happens when you are in a hurry and you've got minimum time allowance. It's just annoying how that often happens but there's just no choice but to get used to it.

I can't ask every jeepney driver before I ride.

Me: "Manong, maggagasolina po kayo?"
Manong:"Ah, oo eh."
Me: "Sige, sa iba na lang ako sasakay."

It's annoying sometimes that you have to pick a jeep and that particular jeep had to be the one to gas up. I've tried that before. I was suppose to ride the first one to come, but I just let it pass by, thinking that it would be the one to gas up. I chose the second one. It was lucky for me to just pick the second jeep because it was the one that had to gas up. Pretty lucky eh?

I guess there's no other way but to pick a jeep after the gas station and pick the one that has already been there. It's the surest way to ensure that the jeep isn't going to gas up.

Other jeepneys just can't assure you an all-out stop-free ride. They just have to stop at any possible passenger. Every person on the side of the road is a potential passenger. So naturally, drivers stop by them even if they don't have to ride that jeepney, which is quite a drag.

And sometimes, it just needs a bit of convincing for the passengers to ride. And it works! Well, not for me though.

ROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROADROAD

When the LRT2 was not yet up, I had to take the bus for almost everyday of my commuting life in college. It's the most comfortable and carefree means of transportation from school to our place. You pay the conductor and you sleep. One more good thing for the particular bus line that I ride is that the station is just a few blocks away from where we live. The bus us usually empty and I get to sit where ever I want to sit.

There is this one time that I rode the ordinary fare bus and I was somewhere at San Juan area when I felt a tug at my leg. I was sleeping and my head was bowed down, with my arms as my pillow. Since the windows were open, I was able to put my elbows outside and use the open window and my arms as pillows.

So there I was, sleeping until I felt a tug and a feeling that someone was touching my pocket. I opened my eyes and I saw the hand of the guy sitting next to me, exploring my legs and my pocket area. Thinking that it's a pick-pocketer, I waited for it's next move. I was surprised that his hands went past my pocket and headed straight to my zipper.

It was DICK-PICKER after all. So I hurriedly went up and looked the guy straight in the eye with my eyes blazing with anger. I stared at him as if laser beams would shoot out of my eyes [and at that moment, I wish it did], and I stared until he was so nervous that he stood up and took off the bus. I don't really know if he was supposed to take off at that area or he was just afraid of being pulverized. The guy was just thin and I think I could've taken him out if he didn't do the right thing [which is to get out of the bus]. But being the good guy that I am, I just stared at him furiously and waited for his next intelligent move. And he was lucky that I kept my cool and didn't give him the reason to have a plastic surgery.

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There was this one time that I rode the FX. I was at the back and the music was good, something like New Wave. And I was really into the music so I was lipsynching with the tune. The guy in front of me was much more into the music since he was singing with a soft tone off his mouth. That was just fantastic. A mini-concert. I took my mind off the music since I might end up being his second voice.

That made me wonder if it's me or there are just an ample amount of people who wants to sing along with the vehicular radio, whatever it's tune is.

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Regardless of whatever kind of nuisance or challenge the road gives to me, I'd be there to face it. You can't really go anywhere that much unless you take the road. And of course the helicopter, and the airplane.

I really need to practice that teleportation thing that the Super Saiyans are into. That sort of stuff is gonna make me rich!!!